Connection is the secret ingredient at every Sofar show. Sure, the music is magic, but so is talking to the stranger sitting cross-legged beside you in another stranger’s backyard. Call it ancient wisdom, call it timeless practice, but making friends around music has always been part of the experience. We’re inviting you to lean into it: the art of small talk, solo dates, and “text me when you get home” goodbyes. Here’s your guide to making a friend (or soulmate) at a Sofar show.
1. Take a seat
Sofar shows are all about cozy, casual vibes. Instead of grabbing a corner and hiding behind your phone, sit somewhere central, or even ask if the seat next to someone is taken. That tiny “mind if I sit here?” can open the door to a whole conversation. And even if you don’t pick who ends up beside you, it’s still an open invitation to turn a stranger into a new connection.
2. Compliment without overthinking
It’s the ultimate icebreaker: “Love your jacket” or “That was such a good song choice for the opener.” Simple compliments go a long way; noticing the little things can open the opportunity for a big connection. Plus, at a Sofar show, you already know you’ve got one thing in common: music. Whether it’s swapping thoughts on the artist’s set, determining the genre, or giggling over a lyric, the show itself gives you an instant in.
3. Talk about music (duh)
The easiest common ground is literally playing right in front of you. Ask your neighbor if they’ve heard the artist before, what their favorite Sofar show was, or what gigs they’ve been to recently. Boom, you’re chatting without even trying. Bonus points if you plan your next Sofar show together.
4. Bring a +1, leave with +2
Rolling solo? Brave and brilliant. But if you bring a friend, challenge yourselves to leave with one new connection between you. It takes the pressure off, and you might double your weekly show crew by the end of the night.
5. Stick around after the encore
The show might be over, but the conversations are just getting started. Instead of sprinting for the exit, linger a bit! Grab a drink or share your wine, thank the hosts, chat with the artists, or turn to the person next to you and debrief about the night. Post-show magic = prime friend-making time.
Because the only thing better than discovering new music is finding new people to share it with. See upcoming Sofar shows (and an opportunity for friendship) near you!
